Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
