So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
