he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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