tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
