he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
How external is "for external use only"?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
