kristin has been a bad kristin
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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