Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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