Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
