I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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