He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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