Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
