Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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