I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize