oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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