New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
