the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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