never play flip cup with pint glasses
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
His nipple licking is glorious
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