You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize