There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think your dad took our porno
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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