it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
