No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You've changed since you got that strap on
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
