Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
