Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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