I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Where are you guys?
Drunk
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
