How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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