I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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