I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
