I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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