I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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