I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
