so that wasnt chicken after all
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Farmville is her only friend.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
