Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
