Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
