Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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