Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
