And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
