Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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