I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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