i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
