My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
