And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I believe in your delicious
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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