I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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