He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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