that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
