you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
