ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
it was like eating out sand paper
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize