There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
