Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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