I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I feel like abortions should bother me more
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Pooping to opera.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
