Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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