I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
