Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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