i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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