will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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