the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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