i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
