i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she looked like the before picture.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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