I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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