I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize