Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
