I think I just saw someone hide a body.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
